Everything about this day told me this challenge was coming: my husband came home, quickly, in the middle of the day to grab his laptop, I pushed him away in my naptime rush to get all of the things done. Later, I came across this post from 2015, all about how much I love this man (still as true today, with two kids, as it was then). Then, of course, there is the back and forth that sometimes happens during the day as adults “did you get this paperwork done?” “nope, can you do it?” “sure”.
Sometimes I get so caught up in the rush of the days that I fail to make time for myself and my relationships, even when they (or I) need it. It feels over-indulgent, in a way, like I’m getting away with something by shirking laundry duties for an hour. Or like I ditched work to waste time watching bad television.
But the truth is, we NEED to love and we NEED to be loved. That takes time. And it’s time that must be given with your whole heart.
“If we don’t pause, the hardships of the world will slowly de-sensitize us from the simple joys that life has to offer. Stop and take a breath. Enjoy the moment without needing the moment to be perfect. Life is what happens between the cracks of perfection. It is a discipline to consciously simplify and re-discover those moments of falling in love again. And again.” – Erik Wahl
Giving Symbols of Love
Yesterday, mostly out of boredom, I asked Max if he wanted to do some painting with me. Chris was out running errands and Adeline had just gone down for a nap. Max has been insisting on playing hours of imaginary games and I was looking for a change of pace.
He agreed, and we got to work setting up watercolors and paper.
I wanted to paint some hearts and play around with pattern making. Max insisted on taking that idea a step further, and making something for daddy. So we combined ideas to make valentines.
Chris came home about halfway through. Max insisted that he stay in the other room while we finished, but soon became frustrated that his 4-year old dexterity did not allow him to make a heart the way mine looked.
In a concession, and a hope to keep him engaged because – frankly – I LOVE painting, I showed him a few techniques to make things come to life on paper. He played along for a minute, cracked his paint tray, and huffed away.
So I made two valentines. One for each of my favorite guys. And they both loved them to pieces.
Last night Chris and I watched the superbowl and chatted about life and what we wanted to get out of it. It’s in these conversations that I fall in love with him over and over again. He amazes me. I like to think I can still surprise him.
We share a similar, yet complimentary perspective on the world. We love learning. And we share what we learn, along with our perspective, most nights.
But I’ve been edgy lately, probably in part because obligations are picking up for me and in part because the world is kind of crazy right now (if you’re reading this some time in the future, this is two weeks after Trump came into office in the US and everyone is on edge).
Knowing that life doesn’t get easier, just different, we made a commitment to each other to travel this summer. We are going to make it happen, even though traveling with a baby is hard, because we NEED to. We both love traveling. In a way, it brings out our best selves. But it’s been a long time since we’ve done any of that. And we are overdue.
Doing Something More
Last week at MOPS (my local mom’s group) we made ourselves DIY date boxes. It’s a collection of couples things – questions, a short game, a themed YouTube video playlist – that we can do for a date night at home. Which is great because it’s so hard for us to get out these days, and we really REALLY need to.
If you’re curious about making your own DIY date box, check out this search on Pinterest. Enjoy!
For several years Ali Edwards has started her year with a word. No resolutions or promises to break, just one little word® to check back on for guidance or reflection. As she describes it, “You live with it. You invite it into your life. You let it speak to you. Follow where it leads. There are so many possibilities.” After a challenging 2016, my choice for 2017 is to become SECURE. Each month, I’m focused on a different aspect of securing who I am, where I am, and what we’re doing. I hope you’ll join me on this journey. For more of my one little word, follow my tag one little word.
MOPS, or Mothers of Preschoolers, is and international organization that encourages and equips mothers of young children to realize their potential as mothers and leaders. “We’ve all been placed in this time and place in history, as the tribe of women who are raising the world. And the beauty of it is that we don’t all have to agree with one another but everyone is in and we all need each other.” This 28-day challenge is coupled with reading, a daily truth or dare, and videos and resources that allow us to connect, discuss, and dive into this topic of woman-hood and mother-hood. Come back daily, or read along in this thread, to see my posts and stories for each day.